As men, we’ve all made a decision. We may not have made the decision consciously, but we’ve all made it. The decision is what it means to be a man. It includes how we define, measure, and pursue it; our picture of it; and how we demonstrate our masculinity.
A general definition of masculinity is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with men and boys. We may put different things on our lists. We may have differing behaviors we associate with men and boys. But most of us just have an intuitive sense of what’s on our list. We just know, right? Or do we just think we do?
The reality is that somebody who’s not you defined masculinity for you. You were born into a family, a culture, and a country (or part of the country) where what it means to be a man was pre-defined. It was draped over you like a weight or an expectation—which explains why it feels intuitive to us all. And chances are if the script you were handed fit your physicality or interests or temperament, you went with it. And if it didn’t, you likely struggled. Maybe you questioned if you measured up. Maybe you felt the pressure to man up or step up. Odds are at some point down the road, you rejected the script altogether or parts of it. Perhaps you picked up a new script that culture provided—but was that the right script or just the one that fit you better?
What about you? What was the script you were handed as a child? Was it primarily externals? Was it sports, grades, or scholarships? Was it getting a good education so you could make a lot of money and support your family? Or was it more about character… who you were going to become? Was it a blend of both? Did the script naturally fit you? If not, how did you compensate? Did you struggle to make it fit? Ever doubted yourself when you measured yourself against the script? Ever attempt to prove yourself? Did you decide to just give up? Did it make you a fighter? Did it make you dislike men who are fighters? Did it make you secretly look down on men who aren’t fighters—those who aren’t masculine the way you've defined masculinity because of a script that was handed to you? Do you have a son who doesn't fit your script, or do you fear having a son that won't fit your script?
Spend a few moments today considering your script because tomorrow we’ll begin looking at the Jesus script. And the picture he paints might surprise you.
